Slayers Guardians
by Lukita Ravenwing
Summary: In a world with Guardians, a storyteller spins a tale from the past that would affect the future. X/L
1. Prologue

**Slayers Guardians - Prologue Rewrite**

**Note** - To everyone, the original idea for this story is by Pen, but due to a lack of a plot, it was discountinued until I adopted it to play with. This prologue was written mostly by Pen, and I only edited and added parts to fit into my plot. This story is an AU and could be viewed as a rewriting of Slayers history/story. 

~*~*~

"Tell me a story, a story of how you and mom met," the little red headed child demanded. This could be a bedtime story, but since the rest of the room was in shadow, and the only illumination was a floating globe from a lightning spell, one couldn't really tell. So, given that the child was obviously in a bed, and the storyteller was sitting in a chair beside the bed with a large, opened book in front, we could safely conclude that this would be the somewhat cliche setting for a bedtime story. The storyteller yield to the demand of the red headed child in bed and began to read from a book. 

"Once upon a time, in a land far, far.... Wait a moment." A gloved hand flipped the book to its cover and read the flaking gold leafed title, Fairies Tales for Children. "Sorry," the right hand waved in apology. "Wrong book." The hands negligently threw the book into the shadowed room; the book hit something solid a few seconds later. Perhaps, a wall? 

"Since the book isn't here, I will tell you the story myself, a very special story." The storyteller took a dramatic pause to wait for the tension to build up. 

The little boy rolled his eyes and waited patiently for his story to continue, the storyteller would begin the story in his own time. Instead he used the time waiting to study the storyteller before him as if he were a stranger; he might as well practice today's lesson while waiting. 

A dark shadow shrouded the storyteller keeping its face and body hidden. Only the white-gloved hands could be seen. The hands themselves were neither overly large nor delicately small. Just your average sized pair of hands. From the voice of the mysterious storyteller, the little boy guessed to be perhaps a young male ... or a young female with alto voice. But then, most females have an alto range voice in his experience. Of course, he has only met five females in his entire life and so he couldn't be absolute, absolutely, certain that.... 

"What?" 

"..." 'Keep your prey guessing', the boy thought. 

The hands disappeared under the shadow for a moment. "Hum... A tough audience, eh?" The right hand returned. "Well, like I said, I'm going to tell you a special story. An expository." The voice paused again before picking up where he left off. "Expository. The word comes from experience and story. Thus, it's a true story, if you will. But unlike other true stories, I have personally seen this tale unfolding so you can think of expository as above a regular story but below a biography. After all, a story has to have some misleading facts in there to make it a good story." The storyteller took another dramatic pause, if he does it one more time, he's going to be eating some fire arrows. 

The little boy snuggled deeper into his bed and mentally went over the spell for fire arrows, just in case the storyteller decides to take another dramatic pause. 

"In the beginning, as everyone knows, the Lord of-" The storyteller began. 

"Wait a minute, I thought this is a story of how you and mom meet." 

"Shush, it will be. I'm just telling you the background information first." 

The little boy eyed the storyteller suspiciously. "...if you say so..." 

*Ahem* 

***

The Lord of Nightmares created this world along with Cephied and Shabranigdo. She also created the humans and dragons. However, it was Shabranigdo who created the Mazoku. Maybe that's why they didn't receive the same gift L-sama has bestowed on the humans and dragons. Of course, a gift is only a gift if the receiver likes it. When the receiver doesn't, well ... it's more commonly known as a curse. 

You see, L-sama liked to spy on the Gods and Goddesses of other universes. Why not? It's a useful occupation and the rewards can be pretty valuable, like good blackmail material. Anyway, while spying on this one God on some distance universe whose occupants calls it "The Universe" -great name, ne?- She came across a new form of managing the children. 

The management system was efficient, had more chaotic elements to it, and most importantly of all, drastically cut down on the number of prayers and petition to the God or Goddess in charge. The God of that universe called those management people Guardians. The children of that God however called them by a different name: Angels. 

The structure was quite brilliant, and even L-sama was surprised on how balanced the system can be, seeing as how a barbaric God ruling over a block of space only 1/10 the size of Her universe invented this great system. 

In that God's universe, there was a potentially hazardous creation that called themselves humans. To balance them, he created the equally hazardous Guardians. For every human, there is Guardian. And for every Guardian, there is a human. However, only the Guardians can contact directly with God and only the humans can directly change the world both creations lived in. 

Thus, only when the Guardian and human worked together can something devastating happen, such as the destruction of God's universe and other things like that. Hence the name Guardians. Guarding to keep the humans from talking with their God and convincing Him from doing destructive stuff. 

But there was one catch; humans cannot see or hear the Guardians, only share their Guardians' feelings. Those humans are rumoured to be really crafty because some fruit they ate a long time ago from some 'Tree of Knowledge' or something. Needless to say, most humans don't listen or know their Guardian very well. And the potential for disasters was greatly reduced, almost to zero. 

The Guardians' lives on the other hand were, well, I've heard the vacation agencies are really, really huge in the Guardians' world and the number of applications for a vacation even larger 

***

After figuring out the details of this new system and observing it working in person, L-sama immediately went back to implement the system in one of Her worlds. This one. However, since the Mazoku weren't her creations (directly) and old Shabby has been sleep for several decades by then, She decided that the Mazoku doesn't need a Guardian. A Mazoku is its own Guardian. It wasn't very fair in my opinion but then, who listens to us lowly soldiers. The humans and dragons each got their own Guardian. 

L-sama figured that those humans touched by Cephied are already too confused to curse... err bless them anymore with this extra baggage so to say. Like the original system, only Guardians can directly contact L-sama while only the other races can directly change their world. Also, the Guardians cannot be seen or heard, only felt- except for the Mazoku's special case. 

This system might have worked out very well if L-sama didn't like chaos so much. She didn't give Guardians to any of the non-humans or non-dragons. The dragons, of course, completely ignored their Guardians since they only wants to talk to Cephied's generals, not L-sama. Consequently, many of the dragon's Guardians applied for rebirth and become elves instead. As far as I know, no dragon over 100 years old has a Guardian around him or her. Couldn't blame the Guardians. Stuffy creatures. One even had the gull to call me Namagomi, what I wouldn't do to kill that one slowly and painfully.... 

***

"Ouch!" The storyteller looked down to where the small discomfort originated and found a dagger imbedded in one of his hands. The blade has gone clean through, and after turning his hand this way and that, looking at it from all angles, decides he rather likes the affect and kept the dagger in place. 

The little boy glared dangerously at the storyteller and held up three more sharp daggers in his right hand. 

"Humph... If that's the way, you feel about it. I'll just end the story right here!" 

The boy narrowed his slit pupil, amethyst eyes in a near-perfect imitation of his father when his father wants to threaten some being or other. 

"...or I can continue right away..." 

The daggers disappeared without the slightest sound. Pulling the fallen blanket around his shoulders, the little boy hid a secret little smile. He had practiced on "that look", as his sister calls it, for hours. It seems to be quite effective. And if father goes off on another tangent, there is always mother's way that he could try. 

***

Anyway, back to the expository. Where was I? Oh yes, the elves. 

Very interesting creatures. They couldn't make a single decent machine that didn't go right back and start attacking themselves but they could invent spells to call upon the powers of L-sama Herself with a little help from the people touched by Cephied's knowledge. Of course, they didn't have the handicap of Guardians like the humans in creating the spells but still .... When L-sama found out about the spells- hey. 

Why is that so hard to believe? Most of the casters died before the spell was completed so L-sama didn't notice. Too busy spying on the other Gods and Goddesses, I guess. 

***

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" A thunderbolt suddenly crashed through the roof of the house and into the little dimension to hit squarely at the storyteller. The storyteller promptly fell to the floor, and a delicious cooked smell waft through the air. "Gomen L-sama. Your Divineness." Xelloss coughed as he passed out from too much electricity. 

The little boy didn't look afraid at all. Instead of going over to his father asking him if he's all right like a ordinary child might have done, he climbed down from his couch-chair to land lightly on his little feet. Clutching his blankets around him, the little boy ran to the door of the darkened dimension/room. He reached on his tipy-toes to turn the doorknob. Opening the door, he placed his head into the living room and shouted, "Lacy! L-sama zapped daddy for bad mouthing Her again. Do you think hitting daddy with a Mono Volt would wake him up so he can finish my expy...exposi...tory?" 

"No, you silly boy." A little girl who looked almost identical to the little boy replied arrogantly. She ran to the little boy who reluctantly stepped aside and allowed his twin sister to squeeze through. The siblings closed the door together with a soft click. 

"Just whisper in his ear that mommy found out about he did to her largest stack of treasure." Lacy said confidently. 

"WHAT!?" There was a started exclamation followed by a loud thump as Xelloss hit his head from jumping too high in his show of emotion. 

"See?" The sister said as the siblings walked to the couches where their father is now in full view. 

The boy only looked sourly at his twin. "Why are you here? This is my story." 

"I wanna hear too." Lacy complained. 

"Now, now Lacy, Len. Share and share alike." Xelloss said with his usual smile on his face. "That doesn't apply to personal business though," he added. 

"Yes daddy." The two children chimed in union as they climbed into bed. 

Xelloss winced, he knew he shouldn't have let Lina raise their children. Look at all the bad habits they've picked up. 

There was a brief fighting over the blanket until the little girl pulled another blanket and a big fluffy teddy bear from what appeared to be a black hole. The little boy scowled at his sister who smugly hugged her teddy and wrapped comfortably in her favourite soft purple blanket. Not to be outdone, the little boy pulled his favourite bunny from his personal pocket dimension to cuddle. There were now two red-haired children with slit pupil, amethyst eyes all snugly warped in their respective blanket and hugging their favourite toy in the bed. 

"....." Xelloss sweatdropped. 'Did Amelia or Filia stop by while Lina was raising the kids?' 

A moment passed, then three, until two threatening glares in his direction brought Xelloss back to reality. "Well, on with the expository." ' At least, they've got Lina's temper,' Xelloss thought with some pride. 

***

So you can image what L-sama felt when a human related to Cephied's general learned and successfully cast one of the elves' spells. No Lacy, She didn't cut the spell caster into ribbons. Or turned her into a donkey, Len. Nope, not even cursed her with a terrible, unbreakable curse. 

She was absolutely trilled, turns out that L-sama implemented this system not to balance out the powers and potential of her creations on this world but find humans or dragons special enough to have an intelligent conversation with. Since only the most clear and most powerful of either race would be able to contact Her within the new system, She was sure it would be wonderful talking with the Chosen. 

The new system however, worked a little too well. For centuries, no human or dragon talked with Her on this world. I guess it gets very lonely now that She isn't bothered every second from thousands of her children praying to her for something. For a long time, She thought she was disconnected from everyone within this world since the She created the Guardians. But She refused to unmake what She created and thus, waited hoping some human -She lost faith in the dragons a long time ago, can't really blame her- to talk with Her. Tell her what's going with the humans. What do they wish? How are they doing? Do they still even remember Her? 

Of course, She often asks us Mazoku about the state of the other races on this world since we're technically also Guardians in the system She's implemented. But for some reason, She always kicks us out after only a few seconds of chat with Her. Something about us taking advantage of the situation. Now that is just unfair, we Mazoku would never stoop that low. We were simply giving Her advise in place of our less fortunate races. L-sama didn't buy that though, there are still some Mazoku who try that and as punishment, She turns them into radishes. No, Lacy. Mice are way overrated, with the rate mice reproduce, you'll be up to your ears in your enemies' families in no time. Trust me, vegetables are much better choice. 

But anyway, the most unusual thing about this magic user was that she had TWO Guardians with her, something unheard of. A small ruby flame dragon and a small flame-haired child with golden wings. The Dragon Guardian is called Flame and the Human Guardian is called Ruby. Their names very accurately described the human they guarded: the infamous Lina Inverse. The Ruby Flame. And oh, yes also called the bandit killer, the enemy of all who live, someone-even-a-dragon-wouldn't.... 

***

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! What are you two doing?!" Xelloss yelped as dozens of Flare Arrows and Freeze Arrows flew at his way. 

"Mommy said to beat up anyone calling her by those names." Len replied seriously. "FLARE ARROW!" 

Lacy grinned happily as she shot more spells at her father. 

"But not at me!" Xelloss protested as he gamely tried to block the arrows with his cloak. 

The two siblings paused in mid-casting and looked at one another. "Mommy didn't specify." They chimed in union and finished their spells. 

"If you don't stop, I will not finish the story!" Xelloss shouted finally in desperation (?). 

Both children stopped immediately, then quickly burrowed into their blankets, hugged their stuffed animals, and looked innocently at their father like a pair of Angels. 

Xelloss nodded to himself and thought with some pride. 'They're going to be great Mazoku one day.' "Now as I was saying..." 

***

But it's not so great having two Guardians with you, especially two Guardians whom didn't get along. I've never seen two Guardians so at odds with one another. Worse still, both Guardians had temperaments so much like Lina-chan's that I often wondered why they haven't destroyed this world yet. I still do. 

Silence. 

Don't believe me? Well let me tell you how I first met Lina-chan, or more accurately, Ruby-chan and Flame-kun. You'll see what I mean. Why do you think your mother can cause so much trou... err... chaos. 

The two Guardians were fighting as usual one day when I err... stumbled onto them. The strangest thing however wasn't that they were fighting. I've seen too many wars in my old age. The strangest thing was that the human they guarded was no where in sight. Why that's unheard of for a human to be without his/her Guardian(s). After all, without the Guardians to keep the humans out of trouble, who knows what they could do? 

So I gave the two Guardians a stern talking to and went off to help them find their misplaced human, well, we found her and that's how I met your mother. 

***

"... and the rest, as they say is history." Xelloss smiled at his two children who were glaring at him. "What? You wanted to know how daddy met mommy, now you do." 

"No we do not," Len said, "you didn't tell us anything, just how come there are Guardians in the world." 

Xelloss thought back, "you're right, but it's too late now to continue the story. Your mother would fry me if she know how late I'm letting you two stays up. So good night kids." Then he left the room leaving the two children to their own devices. 

"I can't believe daddy left the story like that." Lacy said to her brother, hugging her teddy. 

"At least he said he's going to continue it." Len replied. 

"I SAID good night kids." Xelloss' voice floated in from the outside, though it sounds more as if he was in the room with them. 

"G'night daddy." The two muttered darkly and the mage light above them flicked off. 


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

~*~*~

"But daddy," Len whined, latched onto his father's arm. "You promised you'd continue the story." 

"Yes daddy, you promised." Lacy added, latched onto Xelloss' leg, as the Annoying 'O Meter went up another notch. 

"But daddy is busy tonight;" Xelloss said, then bend over and smiled at his two children. "Daddy is on official Mazoku business, why don't you ask mommy to tell you a story." 

"Caaan't," the kids replied. "Mommy is on official Bandit hunting business, she said that since you're home, she's going out and enjoy herself." 

Xelloss sweatdropped at his wife's idea of 'fun', but he should have know he had it coming. Really, what kind of father would leave his wife and kids alone while he disappeared for the last six years of their lives, only occasionally dropping by to visit. Xelloss made a point to be home more often, he already missed the twins first step, and their first word, there's no way he's going to miss their first destruction of a building, preferably with people still inside. 

"Please, pretty please!! We'll be good forever!" The twins pleaded, making their father winced inwardly. 

:If the little darlings asked so nicely Xelloss, maybe you should continue with their bedtime story. The report on the migration of hummingbirds can wait: A silky voice mind spoke to Xelloss. 

:Yes Master, thank you Master: Xelloss replied, stunned. 

:Just don't forget to bring my grandchildren to the island so I can meet them!: The voice replied perkily, Xelloss could just see the little heart attached to the end of that sentence. 

:Yes Master: Xelloss said, trying not to let any of his current confusion of his Master's new orders leak through. As if he can keep anything from his Master, she knows all and sees all, and what she doesn't know, she can make up and no one would challenge her. 

"All right children," Xelloss sighed. "I'll continue the story tonight." 

"Yeah!!" The kids cheered, and they rushed through their preparation for bed, two little red hair children would get cavities if they keep that up. After they settled comfortably in their respective beds with their favourite toy in their arms, Xelloss continued with where he left off last night; where he just meet their mother. 

"No!" Len said. 

"Pardon?" 

"No! You have to begin from where you first meet the Guardians and mom was no where to be seen, not after you meet mom. You didn't tell us anything last night, so you have to make up for it." Len demanded from their father. 

"Fine, fine, fine. I'll start from where I meet the Guardians at the fork of a road in the countryside. The weather looks perfect, if not a little nippy, farmers were rushing to bring in their harvest before the rain season and I can hear a pair of voices arguing at the top of their lungs a mile away. Not that anyone else can hear those two, or what they were yelling about...." 

***

"Yes!" 

"No!" 

"Yes!" 

"No!" 

"Yes times a million!" 

"No times infinity plus one!" 

"Cheater!" 

"Did not!" 

"Did too!" 

"Excuse me." 

"Did not!" 

"Too!" 

"Not!' 

"Ahem." 

"Too, too, too, too, too!" 

"Not, not, not, not, not!" 

"I said excuse me." 

"You're such a liar Ruby-chan!" 

"No! You are Flame-kun!" 

"You're!" 

"No, you're!" 

"You're!" 

"You're!" 

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!" 

Silence. 

"Thank you, now-" 

"What do you want Mazoku," the Dragon Guardian demanded, fluttering right up to Xelloss' face. 

"Nothing," Xelloss replied. "I was just wondering where your human," Xelloss pointed at Ruby, a chibi human with red hair and gold wings. "And your dragon," he pointed at Flame, the chibi gold dragon, "are. Cause I don't see them anywhere, do you?" 

The two swivelled their heads around accompanied by cute sound affects. 

"Lina!" 

"Lina-chan!" The two yelled into their immediate surrounding simultaneously. 

After five minutes of yelling, looking behind trees and under rocks, the two finally came to the conclusion that Lina was missing, they turned their attention to the smiling Mazoku standing in the middle of the road. 

"What have you done to Lina?" Ruby asked looking at Xelloss straight in the eye. 

"Should have known a Mazoku is behind the disappearance of our Lina-chan." Flame added flying next to Ruby. 

Really, that must be the first time those two has ever gotten along, or at least agreed on the same thing. If looks could kill, well... I'll probably still be alive right now since evil glares have no affect on Mazoku whatsoever. The evil eye is probably the least effective of all facial expressions, human or otherwise, against a Mazoku since we're creatures of negative energies, Amelia's- ouf! 

***

Xelloss stopped his meaningless ramble on facial expressions and it's effect or lack of on a Mazoku, to see which twin hit him with a pillow. "What? I just thought you two should learn something while I'm telling the story, after all no knowledge was ever wasted." That little bit philosophy was lost to the two who just wanted their father to get on with the story. 

He tried the 'disapproving parent face' on the two, but they only stared at him with their wide innocent eyes. Xelloss sighed to himself, he taught them too well it seems, but those two still have years to go before they even know a fraction of what he does. 

The twins glared at their father, itchy fingers poised above their respective weapons of choice. Just what kind of kids sleep with weapons anyway? Lina was dead set against their children learning magic and the likes at such an early age. Her exacts words has been. "They're only children, let them have fun first, let them grow up and then we can talk about magic." But 'growing up' proved to be a little difficult when almost every fanatics, Demon Hunters, Ryuzoku and a few Mazoku want the twins dead. It was getting rather tedious, those would be murder would set up traps, get found out, then get seriously dead. 

Thwap. As another pillow connected with Xelloss' head. 

"Okay, okay. I'll continue with the story." 

***

"Me?" Xelloss asked in an innocent voice that just oozes insincerity. "What could I possibly want with your Lina-chan?" 

"I don't know." Flame said sarcastically. "Maybe because our Lina-chan is- ermf." Tiny hands clamped dragon jaws together to prevent a certain Dragon Guardian to leak important information to an untrustworthy Mazoku. 

"Shhhh, you want that thing to know about our Lina-chan's secret?" Ruby asked the Dragon Guardian. 

"Hummrfffummf!!!" Flame managed to say through the muzzle. "Heerrmmf... grrfff... ouffff... meee..." 

"Huh? What did you say Flame-kun?" Ruby asked letting go of his jaws. 

"I said, let go of me!" Flame yelled at Ruby, and before long the two was reduced to a pair of screaming children. 

Xelloss rolled his eyes in disgust, and genially wished they aren't his mission's Guardians. He would throw himself in front of a love and justice speech by a member of that crazy royal family in Saillune first. 

"Ahem," Xelloss interrupted the two. "I really hate to break up this little argument, but shouldn't you two go find your charge before she blows up the world." 

The two stopped their argument midway. "Right," Ruby said, "Flame-kun, go find Lina-chan," she ordered her fellow Guardian. 

"What?! Me?!" Flame spazzed. "Why should I have to do it? You do it cause you were with her since she was born." 

"That's right," Ruby confirmed. "That also means I have seniority over you, so you have to do what I say." 

"But- but- but-" Flame spluttered as he tried to think up a good excuse not to go look for Lina-chan by his lonesome. "Hey wait a minute!" He suddenly cried out and twirled himself around to face Xelloss. "How could someone like you know that our Lina-chan can blow up the world?" 

Three things happened simultaneously after that little question. No, L-sama did not smite the stupid Dragon Guardian; though I still think... -an ominous silence filled the room- that was a very wise decision. Xelloss finished in a rush, and the room brightened considerably. Anyway, before we get too off track here. 

Ruby smacked her on the forehead with her hand, making a loud audible sound; Flame froze on the spot as he realized what he let slipped and Xelloss' eyes popped opened in surprise. He seriously did not think that the world's fate is in the hands of... these two... Watching the two as Ruby tried very hard to strangle Flame and beating him within an inch of his life at the same time. 

By that time however, Xelloss was rather tired of their little acts, in the fifteen minutes since they met, those two has done nothing but fight. He found his mission, well... his mission's Guardians and they'll just lead him to her; provided that they don't just float there and fight for the rest of eternity. Something he would take care of right- as soon as he could get a word in. 

Thwap. 

Whap, and downy feathers flew everywhere. 

"Dadddddy..." A voice whined. 

Wait a minute... that's not part of the story. 

***

"What now you two?" Xelloss asked in a tired voice. "Don't you two want to listen to the story? I can always end it here." 

"Dadddddy... Len hit me with a pillow." Lacy complained, her own pillow was missing. 

"That's because you hit me first Lacy." Her twin shot back, in a poor attempt to push the blame back to his sister. 

"No, you did." 

"Dadddy... Lacy is lyyyying." 

"Dadddy... tell Len to stop hitting me with his pillow." 

"That's because she started it." Len addressed more to his sister then their father. 

"Did not Len, and you're the one who's lying." 

"Daddy..." 

"Daddy..." The two whined in an increasingly annoying voice, the sort of voice that would make a mad dog run away with tail tucked between its legs, convinced of it impending doom. 

"Daddy?" The twin asked in unison when they found their father has disappeared from where he was sitting a moment before. 

"Look what you did Lacy." Len told his sister after the shock of their father's umm... 'disappearance' wore off. 

Instead of replying, Lacy slipped out of bed and headed purposefully toward the door. 

"Where're you going Lacy?" Len asked his sister, and hurriedly jumped out off bed to follow. 

"Going to find daddy stupid." Then she disappeared into the shadows. 


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

**Note** - To everyone who's reading this, thank you for your patience, now that I have redo my notes for this story it should go a bit faster. 

~*~*~

"Daddy! Where are you?" 

"Come out, come out!" 

"Daddy! Mom found out that you've left us alone in the house and she's very mad at you!" 

"Allinallinallisinfree." 

"Len! That won't work," Lacy hissed at her twin. 

"Well you never knew until you try!" 

The twins were looking for their father, he disappeared halfway during their story, so all they have to do now is haunt him down, tie him up and force him to tell them their story. Really, they weren't little monsters, its just that mom wasn't home and they were hoping to stay up late, which wouldn't happen if they get board and fall asleep. They need- 

Clunk. 

The twins stopped in their tracks. "I think it came from this way," Len said pointing down the hall to the kitchen. 

"No, it came from this way," his twin insisted pointing toward the other end of the hall. 

Clunk. Clunk. 

"This way," Lacy said dragging her poor brother behind her toward the kitchen, while Len tried very hard to snicker as loudly as possible when being dragged by the hair. The twins opened the door to the massive dimly lit kitchen, but as far as two pairs of amethyst eyes can see, the kitchen was empty 

"Light," Len called, and a globe of green light flooded the kitchen. 

Clink. 

"Eeep!" a voice squeaked just before Len's green globe winked out. 

"What did you do to my light?" Len asked in a tiny whisper. 

"Nothing, it was you who got scared and lost your concentration on the spell" his twin replied, then called out a tiny light in the shape of a star because a certain brother let his spell go out. 

"Did not," Len muttered under his breath as he watched his sister manoeuvred the tiny star shaped light toward the noise, "show off." 

Two cookie jars were on the counter, one on it side, the source of the clinking noise. Clink. Clunk. "Help! Let us out!" Clunk. Clunk. Rattle rattle. The twins exchanged evil grins and slowly walked over toward the jars, some things in life just has to be savoured. 

Lacy tapped the side of one of the jars. "Need help getting you two out?" She asked in a singsong voice. 

"No! Go away you brats!" One of the jars screamed back. 

"Yeah! We don't need you two little hell spawn's help getting out of these jars, we're doing just fine on our own," the other jar added. 

"I...don't think so," Len replied getting on his tiptoe to get one of the jars down, as their father said, don't use magic if you can do without; that and mother caste a spell to prevent the twins using magic to steal baked goods from the kitchen. 

"Lina, help!" The jars screamed simultaneously as the twins pattered back to their trans-dimensional bedroom. "We're being Guardian-napped!(tm)" 

***

Back in the little pocket dimension that the twins called their bedroom, the two settled back in the beds and opened their Guardian Jars(tm). They shot out of their respective jars and dove for the nearest exit... and meet up with the wall. Two little Guardian Pancakes(tm) gently floated to the floor before they unflattened themselves with audible 'pops.' 

"Help! Somebody come and save us! We'll even settle for that Mazoku!" They screamed in panic, much to the delight of the two children. 

Then they hit themselves against the wall again and again as if the wall would give way before them if they smack themselves against it hard enough or often enough. This went on for some minutes before the twins, bored with the Guardians' imitation as houseflies on window and fired two well-aimed fire arrows turning them into Guardian Crisps(tm). 

"What did you do that for?" 

"You're going to release us right away!" Flame-kun wailed and Ruby-chan demanded simultaneously. 

"No," Lacy replied. 

"What do you mean no?!" The Guardians screamed, hitting the roof. 

"Because we want you to tell us a story," the twins grinned mercilessly. "We'll let you go once you're done, and we won't bother you for another week," they added to sweeten the deal. 

"Once we're done?" Flamed raved, his pride taken a serious blow by first being stuffed into a cookie jar and now taken 'prisoner' by two little six years old. 

"Almost seven," Len corrected. 

"..." Conversation stilled for a moment before resuming. 

Right, so it's not surprising that Flame started on his mindless raving of Mazoku, children, Ruby-chan, Lina-chan and stupid-dragon-who-never-listened-to-him. 

"Stop it," Ruby ordered, smacking him on the head with a large mallet and effectively turned him into a Guardian Splat(tm), she then put the swirly eyed Dragon Guardian in a headlock. "Flame-kun, we're going to tell the brats a story so we can get out of here so we can be with Lina as soon as possible. Remember what happened the last time we weren't with Lina? For all we know, she might end up having another brat." 

"Cool! Another little brother or sister?" Len piped up. 

"No, its not cool," Ruby said, turning her attention to the bright eyed Len. "So what kind of story do you two want anyway? Something short? My thought exactly. How does the usual 'Hansel and Gretel' sound? Good? Perfect. Onceuponatime-" 

"Stop!" Lacy yelled. "We don't want to hear your story about some dumb children who got eaten. Continue daddy's story of how daddy met mommy." 

"YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO WHAT!!" The usually composed (or so she would like to think of herself) Guardian hit the roof, literally; before she started having a screaming, kicking temper tantrum. "I WILL NOT FOR ANY REASON GOING TO THINK BACK TO THOSE DARKER TIMES! THE PAST SHOULD STAY IN THE PAST! SAFELY BURIED THROUGH SELECTIVE MEMORY!" SHE- pardon, she more or less screamed at the two wide eyed children who were secretly taking notes. She's such a bad influence on the kids, ne? 

"So what's that about telling the brats their story so we can get out of here?" Flame asked, sliding up beside Ruby. 

WHACK! 

Poor Flame sailed onto the far wall and slid down trailing Guardian Goo(tm) on the wall like some sort of a Guardian Slug(tm). 

WHACK! WHACK! 

"And you stop TM-ing everything!" Ruby screamed, her red eyes glowed in a... well... demonic way. Saying she was scary would have been like saying the Great Wall of China was just a wall, or something like that. 

Ruby huffed, and puffed, around the tiny transdimensional room before she finally agreed to tell the kids their story. "But only till this water clock runs out, then you have to go to sleep," she added, pointing to the children's fancy mechanical clock that Mazoku got them for their last birthday. 

"Okay okay, start telling the story already," Lacy said impatiently. 

"All right all right, where did tha- your daddy left the story off at?" Ruby asked. 

"Daddy was looking for mommy-" Len began. 

"Ha! I knew that good for- mrph murr," Ruby cried out in triumph before Flame stuffed a rolled up sock into her mouth. 

"Please go on," Flame told Len before he shot Ruby a dirty look, which she returned in quadruple proportion. 

"Well...." Len began again, "and then you two were screaming very loudly on who told mommy's secret..." 

***

"If it wasn't your big mouth," Ruby screamed at Flame while holding him in a chokehold. "That smiling weasel wouldn't have known that Lina-chan is capable of blowing up the world!" 

"Itai Ruby-chan, I'm sorry," Flame wailed, "I promised I wouldn't do it again." 

***

"Hold it," Ruby interrupted, "that wasn't how it went. We don't fight like children; it was a very sophisticated and adult like argument." 

***

"But I say Flame-kun," Ruby said, but somehow managed to acquire a British accent and a cup of tea. "You shouldn't have told that despicable Mazoku Lina-chan has the power to destroy this world." 

"You're right Ruby-chan," Flame replied, also with a British accent and cup of tea. "I've spoken out of anger and now I shall perform seppuku to rectify my mistake," he pulled out two swords from behind his back. "Ruby-chan, as a fellow Guardian and my closest friend, please do me the honour and be my kaishaku," he continued offering one of the swords to Ruby who sniffingly took it. 

***

"Hey!" A very much alive Flame protested, and two pairs of amethyst eyes narrowed. 

"Fine, we were fighting like little kids," Ruby grumbled, "but we stopped and went looking for Lina-chan." 

Two pair of little hands did the accompany hand movements for a fire arrows spell. 

"Xelloss swatted us out of the air like fly and told us he's going to look for a human without her Guardian instead." Ruby finally said in defeat and no delicious cooked Guardians smell wafted through the air. 

***

Two swirly eyed Guardians jumped off the ground and flew after Xelloss with screams of, "you will do no such thing," and "we won't let you." 

"My, my, where should I start looking?" Xelloss asked aloud, keeping one eye on the Guardians who were quickly catching up. 

A loud explosion accompany by a cloud of smoke and fire erupted from the nearest town; which was at least three hours away and that's after riding your horse to exhaustion. 

"I think I should begin there," Xelloss said with a smile and teleported away, quickly followed by the two Guardians with cries of dismay. Of course distance measured by humans were nothing to the three magical begins who reappeared at the town -which was surprisingly still intact- to the screams of a red haired sorceress. 

"Let go of me," yelled the irritated sorceress as she was being carted out of the inn by two big men. "What are you people just standing around for?" She screamed at the townspeople who were watching the scene, "I'm being kidnapped in broad daylight with the whole town as witness; and where in the world is Gourry?" 

"Lina-chan!" The two Guardians screamed in union and darted off toward the sorceress, or would have if they weren't being pulled back by one Mazoku. "Let go of us you- you Mazoku." 

"Please come with us quietly," a young girl with light brown hair, wearing a white dress and gold bracelets said to wild cat Lina. 

"What?!" Lina screamed back, and gave a swift kick to one of her captors; the man went down quicker than a rock in water. "You dragged me out of the inn without a 'by your leave' and now you're asking me to 'please go with you?' I not going anywhere with you little girl." 

The child gave a small sigh, her green eyes meet Lina's red ones. "I don't really want to do this to you Miss Andra but you really left me with no choice; drug her," she said quietly and turned to walk toward a waiting carriage. 

A man behind Lina clamped a white handkerchief on her, Lina only had time to give a small shrike before she collapsed into a drugged slumber. 


End file.
